Meeting the Family of Shark-Toothed Predators
by Akita Kira
Summary: Sousuke finally gets to meet the parents of the infamous Matsuoka siblings. But how do Shinigami and insane family members add in? Rin's parents have a Shinigami related secret. And what's with carrots and closets!


**\- A/N: This a gift for my lady bug. She loves this pairing. Saying that; I love you lady bug, don't die. P.S. I have not watched the anime at all, I barely even know the plot please don't blame me for any OOC-ness.**

The pair approached a large house. A mansion more like, Victorian style, but with the plain modern coloring of depressing black against stark white, but if one could peak into the large 9-pane windows and past the dark shutters one might see blood red lace curtains or the figures dashing back and forth reaching the first floor. The taller and more muscular of the two figures looked down at the lither figure besides him wrapping his arm around the shorter figure with the fuchsia red-pink hair. He chuckled in his head at Rin's slight tense body language saying, "So this is the infamous Matsuoka clan's residence. I must say Rinrin it's not nearly as scary as you made it out to be." He rolled his head to the side lazily to hide his smirk. The not-so-long awaited hit to the chest came with little force as the indignant voice spoke up practically yelping (at least in his mind), "Shut up! Sousuke I told you not to call me that! I swear..." he trailed off and huffed a bit before continuing, "Besides it's important you meet them, it's a part of the package. Besides, it's scarier when you go inside." A shudder absently made its way up both their spines. Rin's in apprehension, Sousuke's in response to the _almost_ vulnerable look in Rin's cherry red eyes. A sadistic streak (didn't know Sousuke had one did you?) made its way across the forefront of Sousuke's mind. "Rin I do not know why you want me to make such a good impression. It's not like you're that innocent. I mean I've already fucked you already it's not such a big deal to me to meet you parents." Sousuke said feigning boredom, but if one paid attention enough one could see the laughter in the teal eyes. Anger flitted through Rin's eyes like some deranged humming bird as he childishly tried to prove his innocence. Sousuke's deep brown hair covered his roving eyes. He tried to focus on the red converse on Rin's feet but as Rin kept trying to prove his innocence, Sousuke's eyes roved upwards along slim calves and smooth muscled thighs all the way to Rin's pert little... _'Dear God those jeans must be glued to his legs_ '. As Sousuke's eyes continued to super-analyze Rin's tight black jeans sitting low on his hips practically asking for him to touch, Sousuke absent mindedly licked his lips shocking him out of his stupor. He cut Rin of in his useless claims of innocence. "Rin this is not what you were saying that time after you won the swim meet, or the time in the showers after practice, or just yesterday when you were practically begging to suck my c-" Rin cut him off the hit to Sousuke's chest this time with Sousuke's response being an audible 'oomph'. Without another word Rin grabbed his wrist and dragged him in front of the imposing black double doors. Rin seemingly straightened his V-neck t-shirt (somehow the exact same shade of fuchsia as his hair) and the whale shark necklace. Sousuke (under threat of celibacy) to wear more formal attire. A white button down shirt rolled up at the sleeves and the first button loose, his shark necklace the counterpart to Rin's was left at home. Loose black slacks ended in patent leather dress shoes. Rin knocked on the doors hurriedly. A murmured response was heard from inside. Rin let out an exasperated 'Gah!' before using his weight to throw open the double doors. Looking around and seeing nobody in the bored foyer Rin yelled out, "I'm home!"

"In the formal living room, darling~" an obviously male, flamboyant voice called out. Sousuke sweat dropped as Rin led him to the right. From what Sousuke the rather intimidating house was stark, with boring greys, harsh blacks and stark whites. The floors a checkered black on slate grey marble, the walls a varying dull grey of thunderstorms to heavenly pure white. Though every now and again devil or blood red accents chased the corner of their eyes. He knew they had reached their destination when Rin came to an abrupt halt. Turning around slowly Rin was cut off abruptly by the flamboyant once again voicing an exclamation

"Look dearie, it's my darling son and his handsome chunk of man meat boyfriend. HmHm~"

If Sousuke could have seen past Rin he could have seen the other figure's resigned look. Rin with, to his credit, only a small blush on his cheeks cleared his throat:

"Ahem anyway... Sousuke these are my parents..."

As Rin stepped out of the way Sousuke's slightly above average intelligence could not comprehend the sight he was seeing. One the dark grey suede couch with the red, Victorian patterns was two figures, two very _male_ figures. Though one may have been confused about that fact. Rin continued despite Sousuke's struggling look.

"This is my mother, Grell Matsuoka, formerly Sutcliffe."

Rin gestured to the figure with the effeminate, long red hair and yellow-green eyes. It wasn't until Rin's 'mother' (Sousuke was still having trouble with that) smiled that he saw the resemblance. Large, triangular, and razor blade sharp teeth were seen. The only adjectives Sousuke could conjure up in his still slow turning mind was red and flamboyant. Scratch that extremely flamboyant. But past that he saw the near sadistic and omnipresent psychotic streaks making their way across the strangely colored eyes covered in the red-framed glasses. Sousuke blinked in response, hiding his confusion well. Rin took this chance to move on. Next he pointed to the definitely more masculine male, even though said masculine man's legs were crossed in a rather feminine way. A permanent aloof expression on his face, pale skin, black framed glasses, and the same yellow-green eyes as Rin's mother, Grell. The slight glare in the strange eyes let Sousuke know that he was being judged in every way, and one misstep could leave Sousuke dead and never to be found, or worse castrated in an exceedingly painful way. Taking the silence and rising tension, and consequently fearing for his genitals from Sousuke, Rin then introduced the new male.

"This is my father, William T. Matsuoka, formerly Spears."

Rin looked slightly nervous grasping his own hands together. Suddenly not enjoying the question swirling in his mind Sousuke decided to pipe in,

"Wait why have both of your names been changed to Matsuoka? And how did you have Rin and Gou you are both men correct?"

William looked at Sousuke with harsh accusation before sighing and attempting to explain.

"Well, in actuality, the answer is simple even if poorly conceived by your human brain…"

Grell simply smiled and replying in a cheery, singsong voice to William's unfinished (read interrupted) statement.

"We're Shinigami~!"

Sousuke blinked slowly twice as the information sunk in, he then turned to Grell in an apathetic, yet accusing glare. Seeing Sousuke's glare the black haired Shinigami spoke up in a commanding tone, a tone not allowing for any questions,

"Its true boy, do not even start to accuse my spouse of any trickery."

Sousuke hearing this turned around at Rin with a seemingly cold stare. Rin put his hands in the air in a placating manner saying carefully,

"I'm not a Shinigami, Sousuke-kun, don't you think I would have told you if I was? I'm perfectly human, I promise."

This seemed to placate both William and Sousuke at one. Sousuke's eyes turned calculating as he started with his inanely curious questions.

"That still doesn't explain how both Rin and Kou are both human or how you even had kids in the first place."

Grell tapped his chin in though before coming to a conclusion.

"That one is a bit more difficult… My dear Willie can explain it better can't you, love?"

Sousuke swore he could see an eyebrow tick and maybe a vein pop out of the man's forehead at the elaborate terms of endearment. Either way he briefly rubbed his temple with his hand while the other adjusted his glasses on his nose with… were those pruning shears?

"Yes perhaps I can… long story short boy, we made a deal with the higher level Shinigami to be able to allow us, as a couple to reproduce, as long as the children were to be born human. I believe that answers your first question. As for your second question, we changed our name when we became mortal. And to answer your unspoken question, we turned mortal in exchange for _all_ of our descendants to have the ability to bear children."

William re-adjusted his glasses once again as he finished his presumed rant. At Sousuke's satisfied look. Grell had a frown form on his formerly light-hearted expression. He looked slightly disappointed as he looked at Sousuke and reiterated,

"Hun, he does mean _all_ our children." at Sousuke's lost look, Grell sighed, such a knowing sound, looked at Rin, then pinned a pointed look at Sousuke. " _All_ our children." Grell repeated monotonously. William looked away as Sousuke spun around to Rin, incredulous. Rin took in Sousuke's expression in a quarter of a half of millisecond and for the first time since they met, Sousuke saw what he thought would never happen. Rin bolted. Small thumps indicated light footfalls on the stairs. Grell made a rather loud exhale as he claimed to need to go get dinner ready. As Grell exited through a door unseen to Sousuke previously William fixed him with a glare that could kill more men than the black plague. He looked deeply at Sousuke before saying plainly, without fanfare,

"Don't screw this up."

Rin was running down the hallway he couldn't face Sousuke. All the times he was bold and blunt failed him at that moment. He was on the pill that much was plain. He never told Sousuke, for his own reasons. As he neared his old bedroom. A force of warmth tackled him into the never used linen closet. As Rin looked up he found the sight he could never believe. Sousuke's eyes filled with gentle-ness and was that? Nervous-ness? Yes it was. As Rin looked at those eyes he understood perfectly. "You don't care about that do you?"

"Really, you think I would care about something like that? Besides…" Rin looked at him with an accusing glare at his pause. "… I think it's kind of hot." At this a smirk crossed Rin's face. "Really now?" Rin brought up a lithe leg and hooked it behind a silk-clad thigh. The warm from the leg caused all of Sousuke's attention to focus on his lover. Rin continued, "It seems we have some things to discuss about or future now, don't we?" Sousuke reflected Rin's smirk with a lust filled gaze and a half-thought out response, "Mm yes we sure do." Sousuke snatched Rin's belt loop effectively bringing warm hips together. As soon as their hips touched, lips crashed. Lips bruising, teeth gnashing, and saliva slicked muscles rubbing and slipping past each other in some erotic dance. As the mouths continued in tandem, warm and stiffening hips started moving in rhythm producing an infantile amount of friction. Rin's arms bound around Sousuke's neck trying to bring the taller man to never break from their kiss. Sousuke's arms bound around Rin's waist. One hand ran to Rin's red hair trying the maneuver Rin's mouth even further into the kiss, bringing a passionate fury. Sousuke's other hand ran down to Rin's hemline. As the kiss deepened even further, no more a battle of domination, Sousuke's hand moved even further, underneath Rin's skin tight jeans. Just as Sousuke's finger approached his prize. A flash of light and a harsh yank separated the lovers. Sousuke turned an evil look at the intruder. Rin was quicker to the punch as a breathless "Kou-nee!" after the exclamation, Rin's flushed body made the rest of its journey down to the hardwood floor. Apparently breathing is a necessity to human life. Kou put her hand on her skirt clad hip (why was she even wearing the school girl uniform still?). "Now, now boys, this isn't the locker room you just can't go molesting each other _just_ anywhere." She said monotonously. At least now Sousuke knew where she got her perverted tendencies from. "You!" she pointed at Sousuke breaking away Sousuke's fantasies of Rin on the floor, flushed and planting, wearing a lot less clothes and practically begging… "Go downstairs to the dining room, I'm going to clean Rin up." Looking at Kou's commanding look her sighed and parted from the two, "We'll continue this conversation later, won't we, Rinrin?" He winked as he heard Rin sputtering and cursing and Kou trying to push Rin into some indistinct room.

Sousuke entered the room and found William sitting at the ebony table with a flamboyant red lace table cloth. William looked at Sousuke's hesitant face and sighed.

"I give you my permission if that's what you're looking for. But just remember I'm not the only one who's protective of my son, you're going to have to get through his god parents as well."

"God parents?"

"Yes, two _raving_ lunatics…"

"That are amazing godparents that I chose!" Grell interjected as he brought in the stuffed chicken from the kitchen. Sousuke sweat dropped at Grell's interjection trying to calculate the chance of surviving another encounter with Rin's family. At that point in time Rin and Kou bounded down the stairs. And took up the end opposite of William Kou sitting at the head, Rin on her right, and Sousuke at  
Rin's right leaving an empty chair for Grell, with William seated at the head of the table. At this point in time Grell walked in with a bowl of… who in dear god made carrots look like that. Grell announced proudly,

"I present honey-ginger glazed carrots with salted potatoes. Large and thick carrots had been carved into phallic shapes (read penises). Thick syrup dripped from mushroom tips, while the stalk stood proudly from the potatoes placed strategically in the bowl. William emitted a low growl before snatching the bowl and walking into the kitchen. Grell flopped into his seat next to Sousuke dejected. Kou was staring into space before muttering something to the effect of "Oh another one of mother's creations." Rin was blushing and staring down at his hand in his lap. Sousuke sighed and said proudly that he in fact enjoyed eating carrots every once and a while. This caused Rin's head to dip further down and more blood to rush to his face. Grell dejected, said flippantly that William should eat more carrots. William returned with cut up carrots and potatoes. The conversation proceeded with expected awkwardness. Glares from William directed at the rest of his family. Grell and Kou trying to fondle Sousuke's muscles, and making rather perverted comments. Grell commenting on Kou's lack of a boyfriend or girlfriend. Grell elaborated by saying,

"It's not being judgey, dear, it's all about _certain_ tendencies running in the gene pool." Kou called bullshit that she was the only girl and would be different from the males in the family. Sousuke called bullshit due to Kou being just a perverted as the rest of them. Rin got indignant causing Sousuke to bring up certain _events_ , causing William's heated glare to become absolutely hellish. Grell and Kou to laugh so hard they got nosebleeds, or was that backwards? Rin to sputter, and curse, place an accurate hit on Sousuke's chest, and a promise to finish the conversation later. Sousuke adopted a lewd, sadistic smirk at the unseen implications for poor Rin. The usual awkward conversations flitting around a Thanksgiving (even though it wasn't a holiday…) table. And towards the end of the conversation, Rin though in his head that they wouldn't give them up for the world.

Rin and Sousuke left laughing and joking. Sousuke raised the question, "I believe we still have a conversation to finish." Rin looked at him scowling, "Fine, but not on my parents front lawn." A smirk took over his features at the end of his statement. At this Sousuke picked up Rin his arms bridal style. The large lawn morphing into the blurred rose-reds and emerald green, and the white anemone flowers. "Fine with me anywhere, Rinrin." Rin sputtered trying to fight Sousuke's airtight hold, where was that injured shoulder when Rin wanted it? "Sousuke if you don't let me down I'm going to start calling you Sou-chan! Damn it, let me down! I'm not a girl" Sousuke's smile just widened as he continued down the white flagstone path to the front gates. "I'm very aware of that fact, Rin" More flailing ensued,

"God damn you! I don't know why I love you so much..."

Grell moved the curtains on the second floor to the side slightly,

"And you didn't believe me when I said they would be fine." The figure near the bedroom door sighed,

"Do you blame me they were just like us at that age." Grell smirked before tilting his head one expressive looking at his beloved husband.

"And look where you are now."

"Yes but I would have never guessed all those years ago that I would end up hear." William replied adjusting his thin glasses.

"Well in all fairness I didn't either, but we're happy now, our children are happy. Even though we saw it coming about as much as someone expects a curveball in a swim meet." William came up behind the red clad figure and wrapped him arms around his thin waist,

"That was a horrible analogy." Grell turned his face a bit more feeling William's head near his cheek and now pierced ear.

"It turns you on and you know it." William smirked into the crook of Grell's neck.

"Mm you caught me." Giggles and gasps and groans ensued.

Funny how things work out.

 **A/N: I've never actually watched Free! Only Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler). I apologize for the OOC-ness in some characters but you have to understand that times have changed for them as in Grell and William are not nearly as stiff or depressed as 1888 was a while ago. Plus they're in a relationship and love changes people, if only minutely. This was a gift for my lady bug. Hope you like it and I was planning on maybe doing a Free! And -Man one next. With Haru being Kanda and Allen's son, but Allen and Kanda are divorced with Allen re-marrying Tyki. And Kanda dating Lavi. Makoto will probably be either Lenalee and Chouji's son or Komui and Hevlaska's. You opinion is appreciated, but spare me the flames! ~I.V.**


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